An Otherworldly Invitation
by Cat face
Summary: *Chapter two up now!!!* Anyway just a sad look into Dib and Zims brains, hints of ZADR, more to come.
1. Default Chapter

Other Worldly Invitation

Part One

_"This land is not what you were meant for_

_You're not intended for this sad little sphere_

The black expanse of night, the only escape for a tired mind, a tired soul; the soft points of light in the blackness of night, shining lights of hope. Hope that

one day he would escape this pitiful life and finally be free of the clutches of day. It was the one thing that sustained him through this bleak disappointment of a life; his only source of light was the darkness of the night.

Dib groaned as he struggled onto the tiled roof from the pitiful weak ladder that only just held his weight It had rotten over the years, the wood growing brittle and easily broken, he was surprised it was still in one piece. He scamped over the tiles, careful not to step to heavily on the weak spots, or he would suffer another fall. Sleep had eluded him once again, and his mind was reeling with unanswerable questions. So he did the only thing he knew, he climbed onto the roof, and watched the stars.  

It wasn't abnormal for someone like him to lay in solace on the dirty weather stained roof, watching helplessly as the expanse of space passed by without him. It wasn't abnormal for him to fall into fits of solitude where physical contact was like a disease that must be avoided at all costs. But that was the environment he had grown up in, alone, isolated. It was abnormal for him that any human show any signs of affection towards him, even his family. So he instinctively shied. 

Since his mother died it had been like that, for his sister as well, maybe worse even for her. He wanted more than anything to be there for her, Gaz, but if he was he was sure he wouldn't know what to do, and it was vice versa for her. They were both so lost in their loneliness but it always seemed to be worse for him. He didn't know why, maybe Gaz was just immune to it; maybe she hid it better. What he did know was that every day he was being consumed by his loneliness. 

His whole life he had felt unloved; only when she was there did his heart feel full. But how many years had passed?  This feeling of complete emptiness engulfed him He couldn't keep track of time any more, it slipped by him without notice; menial things like that never matter when you're being drowned by your own sorrow. The only reason he knew time, he knew existence was because of the loneliness. He would wake up every morning not to face the bright morning sun that burnt his sensitive eyes, or the cold unfeeling faces of his loved ones. But to continue the battle that raged in him since forever.

People had always said he was the kind that would commit suicide. He didn't know why though, maybe it was the trench coat or the boots. Maybe it was the pale skin or the fact he talked to himself. Maybe it was the fact that he had no friends except for his sister. Or maybe they just wished he would, slit his wrists and bleed himself all over the ground. One less creepy kid to torment. But through all the darkness and emptiness, through all the torments and loneliness, he would _never _take his own life. That would just be letting the darkness win; that would just be letting them win. So instead he stargazed…

Since he was young, much younger than he could ever imagine himself being, he had loved the stars. They were the only things that could fascinate him, that could fill the loneliness of his empty heart, the vastness of space. It reminded himself so much of his heart, both so hollow and empty, He had imagined himself up there among the stars, the darkness of space like the darkness that consumed him now. Maybe then he wouldn't be so alone, maybe then he would be reunited with her; the only one he missed more than anything in the universe.

Every night, since his mother died, he would climb up the rotting old ladder and sit on the dirty tiled roof and watch space pass him by. Then every morning when the sun rose in the sky, blocking the stars from view, he would curse it. Curse the daylight like a preacher curses the devil. It was fiery madness to him; the bright rays of golden light would burn his pale skin and block his only escape. He wanted release from the daylight, to float through space among an eternity stars and forever be shrouded in it's darkness.  

That was the main reason he loved the paranormal so, his love of the stars, of the emptiness of space had widened when he had heard of life out there. He was aghast, there was something out there, among the stars, so space wasn't as empty as he had thought. Did that mean his heart wasn't as empty as he had thought? If there was hope for space, there may be hope for him still. Maybe somewhere in the darkness of space, there was also a light. Maybe there was a light in his darkness that would one day reveal itself. But for now…

Since the day he had learned of alien life, he had spent all his energy, every last penny he got on finding them. He wanted to know every fact, every last detail, he wanted them. He joined the swollen eyeball, the most notorious club in the district, they were like him; they wanted more than this pitiful lump of dirt; they wanted the stars. For once since his mother died he felt the emptiness in his heart life a tiny bit, filled. He was a part of something, and someday they promised to leave the earth in search of something better. But their promises like every other he had heard in his life were lies. 

Then his chance came, one fateful night, so much like the others. They came; he came. He had been so excited, barely able to contain himself. What he had heard was true, the emptiness of space contained so much life, so much. That night, like the emptiness of space, the emptiness of his heart was filled with so many wonders. It was his chance, the chance he had been waiting for his whole life. That one night like the many, many others; he was sitting on the dirty roof, the headphones of his radar strapped to his head. He was barely listening to it, his mind so engulfed in wild thoughts, engulfed in the bright pricks of light in the sky; he could have almost missed it. But the soft mumbles made it to his brain in time, there was something out there. At first he had thought he was merely imagining it, he did that sometimes hoping so bad that there would be a sign that he would believe there was. But that night there really was a sign.

He had heard their voices, the aliens. It wasn't clear, he had barely heard it at all, but sure enough the voices floated through the headphones to his ears. It too him a while to decipher the alien language, but one thing was for sure, they were coming. He sat up from his laying position on the dirty roof and checked the monitor of his laptop. There it was again, the scope displaying on the screen danced with excitement as his heart did. They were coming here. 

He had jumped up in his haste, forgetting his equipment, forgetting everything except the news. He slid down the drainpipe; completely ignoring the memory of the last time he had done that, only to find himself sprawled in the bushes by the window. He jumped through the window and landed face first in the kitchen sink, his nose filling with bubbly liquid causing his to gage and sneeze. He pulled himself out of the sink and tumbled to the floor in a heap; jumping up he ran to the first person he saw, which happened to be his father to spill the news. 

Of course his father had been too busy to listen, and that usually would have made him stop and think about how horrible his life was. But this news was much too good, he ran over to his sister, for lack of anyone else to tell. He didn't expect her to care; which she didn't, but he told her everything as if she were the most attentive listener he had ever had. He couldn't just hold it in; if he had he was sure he would have exploded. This was the news he had waited for his whole life; this was his chance.

Of course what he got was so far from what he had expected, but then again so was everything else…

_So I ask that you give me a moment _

_To try take you away from here_

Zim sighed as he sunk deeper into his bath of paste. He hated this; he hated this weakness to water. Such a simple compound of hydrogen and oxygen, but acid to his skin. He didn't understand how the filthy humans could consume it, or how they could consume that disgusting germ ridden food they served in the schools cafeteria either. But he would do anything to avoid showing weakness to them, especially the Dib human. He shut his eyes tightly and let his head sink under the thick paste. This was relaxing though…

A half inaudible scream reached his ears followed by a loud crash and the sound of glass breaking. He shuddered inwardly knowing exactly what that meant; GIR was making pancakes. He sat up from the gooey paste with a sickening slurp and snapped his eyes open. He didn't want to get out of the bath now, he was so relaxed, but if it meant saving the base, and the mission he guessed it would be the right thing to do.

He pulled himself out of the thick sticky goo and towelled himself off, jumping up on a stool so he could reach the bathroom sink. He glared at himself in the mirror a few times, checking his green skin for any blemishes that came with the filthy human dirt. He stood up straight, standing on his toes to get a glance below his neck. He was pitifully short; no wonder the Tallest sent him to this disgusting lump of dirt. 

Yes he knew, this wasn't a 'secret mission' nor was he sure if this was even the right planet; most of the inhabitants around this area were as disgusting or even more so than the humans, the computer must have seen this place as the most habitable of the area, which didn't say much. He also knew, GIR wasn't an advanced model of a SIR that he was just a pile of garbage filled with bottle caps and mothballs. And yes he also knew they thought nothing more of his than the lint between their toes; that they had sent him to the boondocks of the galaxy just to get him out of their antennae, wishing he would just die on the way, or while he was there, not because he was special or a perfect soldier or any of the other pathetic excuses they had given him. So what was he trying to prove?

Did he think that if he succeeded they would just magically love him? No he needed to be about three feet taller. Did he think they would grant him an honorary award for destroying another innocent race? He was a fool for even being here, among the disgusting filthy humans. He could have just left his course and travelled the universe, wouldn't that have been nice. But he had followed their orders, the 'Almighty Tallest' and he knew exactly why. 

Since his birth he had a particularly bad habit of becoming attached to things. The large metal arm, that paper clip he had found in the hallway, that poor little Irken Hal. He didn't know why he became attached to such pitiful things; it was a 'disorder' as one of the tallest had called it. But that also was part of his height disorder, it was all the same to them. Another defective soldier. And as an added bonus of his disorder he had become attached to his home planet. Most would think that perfectly acceptable, but if they had been treated the way he had they would definitely call it a disorder. He was still striving, through all the torment, to impress those sad excuses for leaders. Only Operation Impending Doom I had defied that fact.

He remembered with a rueful smile Operation Impending Doom I. He had destroyed that one nice and good, of course he had paid the price, but it was worth it to see the look on the Tallests' faces. How he wished he had something to preserve that moment. They had thought him insane, and he may very well have been. But they didn't seem to understand the purpose of his outbreak Ever since he had attended invaders school he had wanted nothing more than to be an invader. That was his destiny, that was his purpose in life; that was every Irkens purpose. But once again his height disorder had reared its ugly head. 

"Your too short." 

Everywhere he went those words would ring continuously in his ears. 'No invader has ever been so short; you'll get no where with that height' on and on, the taunts never stopped, but he had survived on the knowledge, the fantasy that maybe the tallest would se the Invaders blood running through his veins and forget about his height disorder. 

But when Operation Impending Doom I had come, the chance of his lifetime; again his height failed him. It was the most embarrassing thing he had ever experienced. His pride and his dreams had been taken away forever in front of the biggest gathering of Irkens he had ever seen. Imagine being there, in all your glory in front of the Tallest, the leaders, gods of your entire race; only to be told that you too small and useless to be anything other than a messenger. He was enraged to say the least, enraged and embarrassed. 

He had barely been able to contain himself; his emotions had taken over, which is usually never tolerated in the Irken race. He forgot everything he had learned in Invader school and to put it plainly he went berserk. They deserved it though, the whole empire was going to fall one day and he could tell it was soon as well. Already nearly every planet that they had previously invaded had or would be running illegal trading routs through them. Rebel groups on a few of the planets whose inhabitants still lived, everything was falling from under their noses but they refused to notice. He himself couldn't wait to see it, a lot had known it was coming but he would be most pleased. 

It was like a certain point in Earth history, a place called the Roman Empire. Everyone had said it was the biggest empire, their leader ruled the entire known world (which was a pitifully small amount of this small rock) but soon enough everything collapsed and it was forgot, another page in a history text book. He hoped one day to see the Irken Empire like that. Dead, just another memory of power, and the Tallest destroyed.  

Zim was broken from his thoughts by another shrill scream followed by GIRs' hollow metal feet scampering across the wooden floor. Zim felt a cold tingle run down his spine and small bumps covered his bare green skin. He stepped cautiously off the stool he stood on and threw his invader uniform over his body. One of these days he was going to break again and kill that irritating hunk of junk, another prank the tallest had played on him. 

He caught his reflection in the mirror again, his eyes looked different than they had before, he could barely tell they were his. But he forgot it and ran out of the bathroom his brain still reeling with previous thoughts. He stepped into the living room and froze rooted to the spot. It was usually messy, a few odd pieces of junk scattered around the floor but he could never have imagined this could happen.

"GIR what happened here?" He yelled his eyes scanning the piles and piles of junk that littered the floor. Mostly brainfreezie cups and taco bags; but also a variety of broken machinery and old robot parts. 

"I was sorting our trash!" GIR exclaimed excitedly appearing onto of one of the piles.

"Why?" 

Without a sound GIR pointed to the TV on the other side of the room. Zim slowly turned around his eyes closed tightly; he wasn't ready for this. He opened them slowly taking in the picture projected on the large Television screen. It was a picture of an Earth beach littered with what looked like medical waste and oil. Zim frowned and turned back to GIR who was picking through an old taco wrapper and eating the last scraps of food stuck on it.

"GIR!" He shouted catching the robots attention, if only for a second.

"Yeees?" GIR slurred in reply blinking slowly 

"Clean it!" Zim yelled pointing to the mounds of trash that sat in the living room floor.

"Okey dokey!" GIR said happily diving deep into one pile.

Zim breathed deeply, gagging slightly at the air. It reminded him a lot of Irk, Earth did; the pollution was so bad, and though he hated admitting it, it was considerably better than Irk. Zim quickly dismissed the thought, a slight ache pulsing through his head. He needed some release from this monotonous life, he was getting nowhere trying to invade this planet; he didn't have his heart in it, he didn't want to. He could have done it months ago, it was simple the humans were foolish lead by their emotions, but then again so was he. 

He sighed walking slowly out of the disgusting living room and took the elevator down to the lab. Maybe if he contacted the tallest he would feel better. He always loved 'reporting' to them, seeing the looks of surprise plastered on both of their faces. He knew they wished he were dead, that he'd stop contacting them, that's why he did it. They hated him and he, with all his being hated them.

_Do you ever look up at the sky above you_

_And wish you didn't have to wait for night to see beyond the blue?_

Dib grumbled softly and rolled over pulling his bed sheets over his head. He hated mornings, he was not a morning person. He felt a hand nudge his shoulder again but he did his best to ignore it. He slit his eyes open, immediately regretting it as the bright light flooded in and stung his sensitive eyes. He shivered slightly curling into a ball and letting his mind drift into the hazy darkness of his closed lids.

"Dib get up or you're going to wish you never fell asleep" 

Dib sat up quickly icy coldness running from his face down his neck and to his chest. He rubbed his eyes sleepily and reached for his glasses so he could properly glare at whoever had thrown the chilling water on him. He slipped his glasses over his nose and glanced over at Gaz who stood unwavering at his bedside. He growled low in his throat and threw her the most deadly glare he could muster in his sleepy state. She just grunted and turned her back on him walking slowly out the door.

"Hurry up." She said before making her final exit 

He sighed and flopped back down on his bed, he would be late but it was worth the extra few minuets sleep.

"And don't lay back down again Dib, I've got another glass of water." 

Dib groaned and rolled out of his bed landing on the ground with a thump. He groaned again rubbing his arm as he stood up; he didn't know why he had rolled out of his bed like that, it had seemed like a good idea at the time. He quickly threw some clothes over his boxers and singlet he had worn to bed and combed his hair back in his trademark style. He wasn't in the mood for school right now; maybe he should just pretend to be sick.

Dib shook his head, snorting out a laugh. What good would that do; he wouldn't have anything to do all day; plus school was another reason to see Zim. If he wasn't there Zim could fool the other children into another one of his traps and take over Earth. He was there to save mankind, the same mankind that had shunned him. It was ironic, the way he risked his life to save mankind. The stupid ignorant fools didn't know what was happening to them, they just live out their pitiful lives unaware of the terrors that await them in the dark. Only when their worst fears rear themselves in their ugly little faces do they realise what he's trying to prove. He should just let Zim take over and enslave all the ignorant people; maybe then they'd appreciate him. 

People might wonder why he disliked Zim so much; they were alike in almost every way possible, apart from the fact Zim wasn't from this planet. At times Dib didn't believe he was from this planet either. They were both 'weird' as Gaz would put it, they both were picked on by the older kids and they were both outcasts of society. So why did he hate him so much, it was simple. What would he do if Zim weren't around? He would be trapped in the same monotonous life with not a single person to sympathize with him. Chasing Zim, trying to reveal his secret was a hobby to him. He never really would though, he wouldn't dream of letting the government get their slimy hands on Zim. He was his link to the outside world, to the stars.

He had a bizarre way of going around getting Zims' friendship though. Half of him wanted him strapped to an autopsy table and his face printed all over UFO magazines, only then would he get the respect and attention he deserved. On the other hand he wanted to become close to Zim, and hopefully get off this rock to the stars. He knew Zim had seen far more of anything than he had, he had no right to scrutinize Zim the way he did, it just seemed like the right thing to do. Through all his taunts and tests Dib never ever dreamed of letting Zim slip through his fingers. Maybe one day when he had courage he would ask Zim about the stars. But he was a coward, in more ways than one and it would take more than courage to repair the mistrust Zim must have in him. But that didn't bother Dib; he loved the games they played. 

"Stop admiring yourself and lets go." 

Dib spun around at the sound of Gazs' voice. She was holding another glass of water and she looked ready to throw it. He didn't want to take those chances so he reluctantly followed her out the door if his room. He spared one last glance behind him to the mirror that sat on his wall. His eyes looked different, as if they didn't belong to him, but he tossed the thought aside making a mental note to remind his dad to get him contact lenses. That thought was quickly pushed aside to make room for mindless ponderings as he made his way down the stairs.

As soon as he stepped foot in the kitchen he could tell something was wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on it. His father, as usual was sitting at the kitchen table munching on a piece of toast completely oblivious to the disgusting state of the kitchen and Gaz was waiting impatiently at the front door. But there was a tension in the air that made his blood run cold; that sent shivers up his spine. You know when you get that feeling where you know your forgetting something but you don't exactly know what?

"Dib, if you don't hurry up you're going to regret it." Gaz growled appearing beside him 

"Alright." Dib agreed reluctantly following her out the door

As he exited the house he caught a glimpse into his fathers eyes. It had been years since he had looked his father in the eyes, and what he saw there made his shoulders shake with a most unsettling dread. They looked dead, mourning something that had long past but he still carried the burden of it upon his shoulders. Dib didn't hate his father, he resented him for ignoring him and Gaz like he did, but he never really hated him. They had never been close, it seemed that since his mother died their family had drifted farther and farther apart until they were nothing more than acquaintances that lived in the same house and shared the same blood. 

But none of that bothered him; at that moment the only thing bothering him was the unshakable feeling of foreboding that hung above his shoulders. Something was going to happen and there was nothing he could do about it. His fathers eyes had only added to that feeling, warning him that he should be wary of something ahead, but as usual he ignored it and followed Gaz down the street.

_Have you ever wanted to reach out and hold those bright little things?_

Well, if you like that's just what I can give you 

 Zim sat wade eyes at his desk, the classroom bare apart from his unwavering form. He had been here for hours, just sitting, thinking. Now the school began to fill up with the filthy human children as the morning progressed, but he refused to move. His mind reeled with thoughts, emotions that not even he knew he had. He watched the human children as they filed into the room one by one, each taking their turn to ignore him as if he were merely a shadow on the wall. And he saw himself as if in a dream, watching only from the outside, he looked different from what he had thought.

Then as if on cue the Dib human strolled into the room, his usual snide smirk spread across his thin lips. But there was something about his eyes that looked different. Zim couldn't exactly tell, but from this vantage point he knew that something was bothering the human, something that he hid very poorly. And as usual Dib was the only one to notice him. He stopped and smirked at him, like every day throwing him an almost mandatory glare; Zim could only barely glare back. His face just refused to obey his command and sneer at the lowly human, was this what he really wanted?

He couldn't be bothered worrying about Dib; his mind was so full of other thoughts Dib was nothing more than a fly buzzing in his ear. He could tell he looked a wreak; he didn't need a mirror to tell, he could just feel it. Not just physically but emotionally as well. Last night he had called the tallest, as he did every week in the human calendar, they had told him that he could only contact them once a week. They didn't want any enemies hearing of his secret mission; so they claimed. He sometimes wondered just how stupid they thought he was. But what he heard when he had called that night had sent him hurtling face first into the hard brick wall of reality. He knew they hated him, even the most stupid filthy human could tell they hated him, but when that fact had been confirmed his whole world; his whole universe had come crashing down around him.

He remembered with such vivid precision the contempt smirks that had graced their faces and the gleam of malice that shined in each of their jewelled eyes. As one of them, he couldn't remember which one now because his brain had turned numb from shock afterwards, but he remembered the cynical scornful tone it its voice as they confirmed the one fact he had tried his life to deny. He hadn't been able to sleep, his limbs useless weight on his already iron heavy body. He had been so engulfed in grief, or was it jealousy? He hated to admit it, he hated to admit any flaws he had, but he especially hated to admit that he was jealous of the tallest. Not only because they were supreme rulers of the Irken Empire, but because of their height. He was so short, and small, he was jealous of any Irken that was taller than him, which was any Irken period, it really did make him feel useless.

They were loved by everyone, they didn't really have a choice in the matter; neither did anyone else. It seemed that had been the only thing he ever wanted out of life, apart from becoming the best Invader that that filthy invaders school he had attended spat out. But above that, though he hid it, he wanted to be loved by everyone. He wanted so desperately to be accepted, to be a part of something important. As long as he could remember he was being shunned by everyone, he could never do anything to satisfy them, and the ever mind wracking question popped up in his head for the umpteenth time that day, why?

Why? He didn't know. And it didn't really matter that much, he had grown to accept his social retardants; at least that's what he told himself. He was never really sure weather what he told himself in his head was actually what he believed. It was so confusing thinking like this, he hadn't thought this much since, since he worked on Food Cortopia. Despite what they said, they had so many slaves on Food Cortopia that most of the time you were restricted to your quarters and barely ever had to cook. He had gone into an untraceable twisting turning maze of thoughts that he hadn't found the end of for weeks. He could barely remember anything from that time; it had all been a blur. He did remember one thing though, he had cried.

How long had it been since he had cried? He had promised himself on that day never to cry again, and he had succeeded. But lately he had been tempted, he wanted so bad to just break down and cry. But his pride as an Invader had stopped him. He heard it was bad to keep your feelings pent up, but what would the humans know? They had no dignity, Irkens were forbidden to cry, it was the worst show of weakness and cowardice and no Invader wanted that. He'd rather plunge a large rusty germ covered knife into his belly than cry. But it was eating him up inside, like insects had invaded his insides are were slowly but surely leading to his breakdown. He could tell it wasn't far off, and GIR was making it even more so frustrating. He knew the little robot meant well, but one day he was going to pull it apart and jumble its circuits so it would never again sing the doom song.

Zim jumped at the shrill ringing of the school bell that signalled the start of class. He snapped his head up ready to face whatever horrors he would have to face and was startled to see the children filing out of the classroom. He watched them go in confusion, blinking slightly and rubbing his eyes. He was so deep in thought he didn't notice the class had already passed, it wasn't like he needed to know any of the medieval knowledge they taught in the classes here, he had learnt more than this before even Mrs. Bitters was alive. He quickly picked up his books and followed them out the door into the crowded hallways. There was still most of the day left but he wasn't going to stay here any longer, he didn't need to know anything more about human culture, he wasn't in need of this place anymore.

He strode out the school and glanced back at the misspelt sign and the filthy children playing together out the front of the school building. There was nothing about this place he wasn't going to miss. He turned back around and made his way out the gate.

"Hey Zim where are you going?"

Zim stopped dead in his tracks and felt a shudder run up his spine. He did not have time for this, he could already feel his head start to pound with afore effects of a headache. He contemplated just pretending to ignore Dib, but before he had a chance to escape Dib was behind him, his cold hand resting on his shoulder. He spun around glaring at Dib the most vicious spiteful gleam in his eyes. He could feel his emotional time bomb wearing down as every second passed. He needed a quick escape or he would explode and most probably blow his cover; not that Dib didn't already know about his ancestry, but blow his other cover. 

"Don't touch me." He growled low in his throat

"Whoa settle down Zim," Dib said backing off slightly holding his hands before his chest defensively, "you know it's not normal to leave school early, unless you're an alien trying to destroy the earth."

"Get away from me, I don't have time for you." Zim whispered turning back around and walking away from Dib

"Are you scared or something Zim?" Dib yelled after him sending another wave of pain shooting through his head

_There's an amazing little world outside this one_

_So many untouched riches just waiting to be found_

Dib stepped back again as Zim turned around and glared straight into his eyes. But it wasn't one of his usual glares, now his eyes were filled with spite and hatred, even what looked like despair, but what shone above all of them was fear. Dib blinked in confusion what could it be that was bothering Zim so much? Dib stepped back again as Zim edged closer a low animal growl emitting from his throat.

"You know nothing about me," Zim snarled moving steadily closer to Dib, as he carefully stepped back avoiding Zims accusing fearful eyes

"Zim, wait a minuet…" Dib tried.

It wasn't often he was scared of Zim, Zim was a threat to mankind, true; Zim was an alien, true; but never had Dib ever seen this malice in anything, human or not. He didn't understand, one day Zim was perfectly normal, the space boy that always lost dodge ball; the weird kid with the green head that the popular girls always picked on. His enemy, his nemesis, his rival; the prideful, indestructible, emotionless Zim; but still harmless. But somehow, over the course of twelve hours or less, he had become this alien that stood before him; this demon with eyes full of fear, what had it done with Zim?

"No Dib I'm not going to wait a minuet, I've been waiting my whole life!" Zim shouted back his voice wavering only slightly, "You have no idea what its like to want something so bad, so bad that you'd give up your pride, give up your life to attain that one thing; but then to have it thrown back in your face like old taco sauce! Damn them, damn you, damn this whole universe!" 

Dib could say nothing; he couldn't do anything, he was frozen to the spot. He didn't know what Zim was talking about but he felt his heart sink from his chest to his toes. What had they done to him? This wasn't Zim standing before him, Zim was controlled, Zim was rational, when it came to emotions Zim was a brick wall twenty miles thick - what was he talking about? Zim was none of those things, Dib didn't know Zim, how could he? But he knew one thing, this was not Zim, Zim didn't lose control, he couldn't.

"Zim I-I…" Dib trailed off stepping back again.

He felt his foot land awkwardly on something and his legs fall out from underneath him. He landed with a thud on his backside, his glasses tilting slightly off centre on his nose. Ignoring the pain that shot from his hands and spine he looked up straight into Zims eyes, the familiar eyes that always glared back. But now only the same fear filled angered eyes that he had seen moments before. He had seen emotional humans - he was one - and they were unpredictable, so what would an emotional Zim do? Dib saw Zim falter slightly bringing up one of his slim gloved hands over his mouth, his eyes widening as if he had just woken up from a nightmare. Zim glanced down at him their eyes locking for a brief moment sending a slight shiver over him, and without another word he turned and ran down the sidewalk out of view.

Dib stood up from his position on the dirty street pavement, absently dusting himself off. He didn't know what to make of what had just happened, it was too much for his brain to take in. Zim had just exploded in a fit of emotion leaving him stranded searching frantically and hopelessly for answers. Nothing that had just happened made any sense, but it was real. He could still see Zims eyes in his mind, that image would probably be etched into his brain forever. They were so fearful, but what was he scared of? It was so confusing, Zim wasn't scared; he couldn't be. If Zim was gone, if Zim was scared, if Zim lost it, what would he do? Zim was his pillar; Zim was the reason he got out of bed in the morning. If he wasn't chasing Zim, trying to get evidence, he wasn't doing anything. 

What was he going to do if Zim left? Zim couldn't leave, not without him, he had to get to Zim; he had to find out what was wrong. He needed Zim, it was simple, through all the fighting and taunting, the chasing, the photos, everything they had gone through over the last however long, he had grown attached to the little green alien and he wasn't going to let something, anything take it away. Zim was his evidence, Zim was his ticket off this planet and he wasn't prepared to throw it away no matter what the cost.

He heard the school bell ring disturbing his from his thoughts. He glanced back at the school gates and contemplated going back, was it really worth it? He looked back down the street Zim had run down to escape whatever it was that was plaguing him, then back at the school and the horrible misspelt sign. No one would even notice if he was missing, they probably would notice if he never came back. With a shrug of his slim shoulders Dib ran down the dirty city streets towards Zims house.

_I won't force you, but I just might stoop to begging_

_Won't you let me show you around?_

Zim covered his mouth with his hand, staring down into Dibs confused eyes. What had he just done? What was he thinking, he'd lost it and told Dib everything. How was he going to explain this? Now Dib was going to ask him questions. This was too much; he needed to get away. He took one last glance into Dibs eyes before he turned and ran down the street towards his base, he had to get off this rock. He wasn't going to waste his time and whatever was left of his life trying to invade Earth, and though the humans were disgusting filthy creatures he wasn't going to waste any more of his life taking orders from those incompetent fools that dare call themselves leaders. He was going to destroy them along with the Irken Empire, better they fall now than later. 

Zim barged through door to his house, leaning heavily against it his chest heaving and his hands shaking uncontrollably. It hadn't taken much effort for him to run this far, as an Invader he had been trained to keep his stamina high at all times. What they hadn't taught him was how to keep his emotions down in a time of crisis. He bit down hard on his bottom lip, tasting the strong metallic tang of his own blood. He could already feel the tears well up and sting at his eyes but he would do anything to keep them down. 

He couldn't believe he'd exploded like that, he had made a fool out of himself in front of Dib, not that it mattered but his pride as an invader came back to haunt him. He shook his head in defeat hanging it in shame as a single tear slipped out of the corner of his eye. He angrily pulled his wig off and tossed it to the ground watching it bounce helplessly on the floor. He peeled of his contacts causing more tears to well up in his eyes. He hated his disguise, he hated pretending to be something he wasn't, but it made him feel powerful. It made him feel as if everything that had bothered him in his Irken life had disappeared and he was only living the life if Zim the green headed freak. But every time he peeled the lenses off and looked into his ruby red eyes he felt everything, all the pain and humiliation wash back over him knocking him over.

He threw the lenses on the ground to join the wig and glanced into a nearby mirror. His eyes shone with unshed tears and his face was taunt and pale. But he saw none of that, he saw the short incompetent loser that had been openly declared disowned by the Irken Empire. He glanced around the room for the nearest throwable object; his eyes landed on the phone on the nearby table. He ripped it out of the wall with ease and threw it at the mirror smashing it into a million pieces. He looked over at the defeated mirror, his chest still heaving from trying to keep his tears at bay, and eighteen little broken Zims stared back at him, all of their eyes filled with tears. He barely noticed that his attempt to keep from crying had failed as he grabbed the vase off the same table and heaved it at the far wall watching in satisfaction as it crumbled into thousands of shards as it impacted with the wall.

He leaned heavily against the door again sliding down to the floor and holding his knees close to his chest. He let his tears flow soaking the thin material of his pants. It wasn't fair; he didn't understand why they had done it. They could have done anything else, they could have thrown him into a planet, they could have dropped him into a sea of water; they could have just plain killed him. But they inflicted the most brutal torture; they left him to live with the shame of being discarded from the Empire. He could never become an Invader now, his life, everything he had dreamed of had crumbled down around him in eight words, those eight words that repeated in his mind over and over again wearing down his emotional barrier with every syllable.

"Zim we don't like you, don't come back."

Zim sobbed helplessly into his knees, his whole body shaking with each wracking sob. He hated crying, it was such a disgrace, but it didn't matter anymore, he wasn't trying to impress anyone now, and it felt so good. A whole lifetime worth of pent up emotions rushing out like a fountain with each single tear, he wasn't going to stop anytime soon. He heard over his sobs the sound of hollow metal tapping against the floor, but he could barely life his head, let alone just to see GIR standing there in front of him, some goofy smile plastered on his lips and a dirty rubber piggy in his hand.

"Aww master, what's wrong?"

Zim felt another rush of sobs wash over him but managed to keep most of it down and lift his tear stained eyes to meet GIRs cheery cyan bulbs. The robot was looking stupidly at him, his usual dopey hollow smile spread across his lips and his hands cupped in front of his metal body. Zim looked down past his body to his legs, which had various puncture marks in them and looked fairly misshapen. Zim looked back up into GIRs eyes but he could only see the mocking smirking red and purple eyes of his tallest. 

He clenched his teeth together in unsuppressed rage; they had no right to do this to him, they had no right to make him break, they had snapped him like a twig. He rose slowly to his feet, his eyes never once leaving GIRs. With ease he picked the robot off its feet and clenched his teeth together so hard his jaw felt like it was going to break.

"Master you need a hug." GIR chirped happily reaching his arms out to Zim.

With all the rage of a bull Zim lifted GIR above his head and heaved him across the room at the far wall where the vase had hit only minuets before. With a loud squeak of pain GIR went tumbling to the ground, his once bright cyan eyes turning grey and lifeless. Zims chest heaved his eyes wide and full of tears; what had he just done? He looked down at the lifeless body of his slave robot GIR, tears of sadness and frustration dripping from his eyes to his chin to the floor. It was their fault, they had done this to him; they had done that to GIR. 

Zim leaned against the door again sliding back down to the floor raising his weeping eyes to the ceiling, his whole body shaking with sobs. He needed a release, he needed to get away from them, from their influence over him, from everything they had represented in his life; he needed to destroy it all. He traced the patters of split broken paint that had begun to peel off the roof, and at that moment found it the most interesting thing he had ever seen. It was like a web, the most intricate web of cracks and chipped bits of paint from when GIR had jumped and smashed his head on the roof. 

It was like the web they had spun for him. The web of lies and deceit; the web of persuasion and of mistrust; the web he had spun on himself, the web they had spun around him in his weak state, in his most vulnerable. He was trapped now and nothing could untangle him, nothing but severing the ties to everything he had known and loved in his life. Everything he had lived for, everything he had dreamed of, but to escape the spiders' claws it was his duty.

Have you ever seen a sun set and a sunrise 

_Both taking place at the same time?_

Dib stood outside Zims house, his body tense and ridged. His mind told him to move forward, but his body refused to obey. He didn't even know why he was here; he knew he had to be home, there was something waiting for him that he didn't want to miss. He didn't know what it was, but he knew he had to be back soon or he'd be in trouble. Yet still he stood, as still as the ugly lawn gnomes that guarded Zims men's room door, his own personal battle raging inside his brain.

Only moments before he had heard a crash from inside the house, of course there was always the possibility that it was just that little robot that Zim had, but something told him it wasn't. He had been having these feelings all day, like something was out of place, he could feel _something_ was going to happen, but he couldn't put his finger on it.  He flinched as another crash rang out from the house to his ears, it was followed by a deadly silence, so unlike Zims house. Usually some scream or radio or TV would be heard, but now, nothing.

That was enough to send Dib over the edge, all day Zim had been acting peculiar, first his weak glare at the start of the day, and usually he would scream some obscenities half way through class, but today was silent and uneventful. Then his eyes before, so filled with emotions Dib didn't even know aliens had, they were so human. And now the deadly silence that his house emitted. He couldn't stand it anymore, he needed to know what was bothering Zim, he needed things back to normal, the daily routine of them fighting, brawling always trying to outdo each other. Today felt different because everything had been thrown out of wack, he needed to fix it. 

He gathered up his courage, his legs finally deciding to respond to his brains command. He strode past the gnomes watching carefully out of the corner of his eyes to see their reaction, but they were still, just like the rest of the house. He reached the door step staring defiantly up a the sign on the door that read men's, his mind still reeled with possibilities, maybe Zim was just down in that underground lab and the robot was with him. But even then there was usually a TV or radio or something going on upstairs. Or maybe he wasn't home, but then where did the crash come from? But none of those possibilities were even close to what he saw.

He reached his hand up slowly and knocked lightly on the door. He expected Zim to scream out something about his stupidity, or that little green dog to answer the door, but there was no sound from inside. He knocked again louder this time and he heard a soft voice from inside. The door moved as if someone were leaning against it and soft barely audible mutters echoed from inside. 

"Just a sec." 

Dib stepped back slightly from the sound of Zims voice; he was there and he wasn't yelling death threats? The handle of the door rattled slightly and slowly and surely the door creaked open a crack. Dib didn't know what to expect, Zims voice had been so quiet, only just a whisper. It was so unlike him to be so surreal. Zims head popped out from behind the door, his disguise was off and his large magenta eyes were filled with what looked like tears. He looked so small, so weak, so scared, it was the exact opposite of what he normally looked like. Dib couldn't say anything.

"What do you want Dib" Zim asked ever so quietly, it was obvious in his voice that he was struggling to keep his emotions down.

"Zim what's wrong?" Dib blurted back, his eyes growing wide with fascination and a fear of his own.

He had seen eyes like those before, so scared and filled with tears. It was only days after his mother died, and Gaz was still only a baby really. He hadn't known what to do, she was crying and his father wasn't there of course. He couldn't let the death of his own wife get in the way of his science, Dib sometimes wondered if he even knew she was dead. But he had gone into Gazs' room hoping that she would just stop crying, it was obvious she missed their mother almost as much as he did, though she hadn't even known her. He had peeked over the top of her bed and, her eyes, so unlike what they had become after years of neglect; were filled with her tears, so afraid and alone. 

Dib snapped himself from the memory and back to Zim, what could make the alien so full of pride, break down into what he was now? Dib peeked past Zim into the oddly coloured living room; it looked as it always did except for the broken vase and the usually loud robot was now quiet and strewn on the floor. Dib again shifted his attention back to Zim his face still blank but his eyes…

"None of your business human." Zim said unenthusiastically. 

It was that same monotone that you use when you want exactly the opposite of what you say, Dib used it all the time; he knew what it meant. But he didn't move, he didn't want to help Zim, but at the same time he wanted so bad to just hug him and tell him whatever was bothering him wouldn't anymore. He just hoped above everything that this outburst wouldn't mean the alien was leaving. He didn't want Zim to leave without knowing how bad his life would be without him to bug all the time. Without the challenge, Zim had given his life meaning and there was no way he was going to get it back. 

"You've been crying." Dib stated grabbing the door and swinging it open wider to get a better look at Zim

"Irken invaders don't cry Dib." he replied pushing Dib back slightly

"Then what's that water in your eyes?" Dib asked, "And all over your face?"

"This isn't water Dib." Zim shot back narrowing his eyes

"That's right you're allergic to water, so what's that stuff on your face?" Dib asked again reaching out and wiping some of the wet residue on Zims face.

"Don't touch me human!" Zim yelled throwing the door open and waving his fist in Dibs face, "Its none of your business!"

"Well I'm going to make it my business Zim, now tell me." Dib shot back grabbing Zims fist and pushing it down 

"What makes you think I'd tell you?" 

"Because…" Dib started, why would Zim tell him anything? All the times he had tried to hurt him and destroy him, the threats; the taunts; didn't Zim see that it they were empty; he never meant a word of it.

"And plus you wouldn't understand, how could anyone understand?" He mumbled the last part biting down on his bottom lip, the tears starting to build up in his eyes making them shine like otherworldly gems.

"You'd be surprised…" Dib whispered letting go of Zims fist and stepping back down to the bottom step. 

Zims tilted his head to the side slightly, the traces of tears in his eyes disappearing replaced with curiosity like that of a newborn kitten. Without another word and with one last glance Dib turned and ran out of Zims front yard, past the gnomes and ugly little animal things. It was true though, as much as Zim wanted to believe he was alone, the fact was that Dib knew what it was like to suffer. He wasn't sure what he was suffering over but he wasn't alone. Something much worse had happened to him, something that had left him scarred, left him and Gaz scarred for what he was sure would be the rest of their lives on this miserable rock. And at that moment everything he had ever felt towards that something came rushing back like a tidal wave almost knocking him off his feet. Yes he knew what pain was.

_Would you like to hear a beach cry out your name for you?_

_Well that's only the tip of the iceberg you'll find_

Zim watched in confusion as Dib ran past his lawn gnomes and down the street until he was nothing more than a spec on the horizon. How would he know, what would he know about being left to die on an alien planet? How could he know the pain and humiliation that he had gone through over the last few hours? He knew nothing of what it was like, but Zim couldn't help but think…

Dib was one of the very few humans, or living creatures for that matter he could relate to. It was true, Dib knew of humiliation, every day the children at the school would taunt and tease him. And though he pretended not to care it was obvious the frustration that the mankind he tried so hard to protect shunned him like they did. It was also true Dib was an outcast, as was he. Again the humanity he was risking his life for everyday thought nothing more of him than the lice that lived in their hair. It was possible Dib knew more about the pain emptiness he was feeling right now than even he was. But it didn't lessen the deep scar that had been left in his pride, never again would he put his trust in something so stupid as a hollow dream and a mountain of lies.

He sighed a heavy sigh full of the confusion and pain he felt at that moment. Why did things have to be so complicated, all he ever wanted was to be an invader, not a big dream, any Irken could have achieved it. But it seemed the gods frowned on him. Since the day that arm brought him to life he was doomed to live the horrible cursed life he was now situated in. He sighed again and retreated back into the dark house, back to the labyrinth of emotions and despair. He glanced down at the broken form of GIR; he looked so dead, it wasn't right. 

He slowly walked over to where GIRs' limp body lay and fell to his knees, reaching out and scooping the cold metal body into his arms. He stared at the mangled body for a minuet, at his feet, which looked as if they had been chewed on and his dark lifeless eyes. He felt sad, he felt guilty, he felt remorse, but unlike before it didn't bother him. No tears made it to his eyes, no sob reached his throat; he simply lifted GIR off the floor and took him down to the lab. He sat GIRs broken body down on a metal table and sat down on the large armchair next to it.

He couldn't remember what he wanted to do; everything had become a blur again, not with tears but with so many emotions. It was like a floodgate had been opened, once things had started happening he couldn't stop them, he couldn't stop the surge of emotions that washed over him every time a memory or thought entered his head. It was so alien to him, for so long he had kept these things blocked, hidden behind a brick wall; now that they were out, he didn't know what he was going to do.

He stood up from the chair, turning his back on GIR and, completely forgetting about the broken cyborg, he left the lab. He wandered aimlessly around his 'house' thinking more and more about Dib and what he had meant when he had uttered those last few words. He couldn't get them out of his mind, they kept echoing like a ghost but that wasn't the problem. It was the image that came with the words that scared him; Dibs face, it was the same face he had glared and laughed at every day of his life on Earth, but at that moment it looked so alien he could barely tell who it was uttering those haunting words. 

He absently slipped on his disguise and left the base, he couldn't think there, it was much too distracting. He wandered aimlessly around the block (he didn't want to travel too far in case he got lost) but not even the stench of the filthy human streets could get his mind off Dib. He couldn't stop thinking about him, he had never shown any interest in Dib before; he hadn't really cared. But this new realisation, they were so much alike he couldn't help but be curious, what was it that had made Dib so emotional?

He was stranded on Earth until he upgraded the Voot cruiser, it couldn't travel to even the next planet in this Galaxy let alone any others; and it might take a while considering the humans were so uncivilised. It seemed like a good idea to at least try to fit in, despite how much he denied it he stood out like a sore thumb and he knew nothing about human culture; he wasn't going to get very far like that. He needed to know so much more the humans were so hard to figure out. They let their emotions take control of every little thing they do, and at any time, no signal or warning, their attitude can change and they become almost a different creature. Yet this all seems normal to them. Maybe with Dibs help he could figure this out, bit would Dib be willing to help? Would he be willing to seek his help? He had already had his pride scarred, how much worse could it get?

Without noticing it, Zim had managed to find his way to the path out the front of Dibs house. This was the only place in the whole city (apart from the all night store that GIR got those disgusting brainfreezies from) that was familiar to him. How many times had he been here over the course of however long he had spent on earth? How many times had he spied on Dib and his family to find his weaknesses, his flaws? But now, without even asking Dib had handed them to him on a plate; he had the same flaws as every other human, his emotions. It would be so easy to influence him if he could control his emotions, but that was the last thing on his mind.

He stared up at the house; there were no lights on; not a single movement could be detected. Where could they be? As far as Zim knew Dib didn't usually leave the house unless it was for school. Maybe this had something to do with the emotional outbreak Dib had displayed earlier. But what would that have to do with the rest of his family? From what he knew Gaz was even more house prone that Dib, she didn't even go to school half the time she'd rather stay home and play with that toy of hers. What could get them both out of the house at the same time?

Zim looked up at the fading horizon, the palette of colours that the setting sun spread across the sky. Most humans would have though that was incredibly beautiful but that was just smog. He had seen real sunsets, sunsets that showed more colours than even existed. He wanted them again, he wanted the freedom of the universe, he wanted so much more than this pitiful planet, but he knew he must be patient it would only be a matter of time. He spun around at the sound of soft footsteps on the pavement and his eyes met those ever-familiar honey brown orbs that belonged to him rival/soul mate. He stepped back slightly, they were all there, even the father, but neither of them were visible, only Dib and his eyes. 

Do you ever look up at the sky above you 

_And imagine other people living out past the blue?_

Dib ran in through the front door slamming it behind him and leaning against it heavily. His lungs burned and his face was wet with sweat, or was it tears? It didn't matter though, he had remembered and nothing else filled his mind. He had remembered but he had forgotten, he hoped they hadn't left without him. He needed to see her; tell her everything that had happened. He dreaded this day; it brought back horrible memories of neglect and broken promises. But he also loved it; it was a chance to finally have someone listen to him without calling him weird or a freak or just plain being ignored. 

"You're late…"

Dib glanced up at the sound of Gazs' voice. She looked indifferent to the situation; she always hid everything so well, was he the only one that could see past her masquerade? He turned his attention from Gaz to his father. This was the only day of the year apart from the annual family night out where they were all together. He remembered this same look from last year, the far off guilty look that emitted from the Professor. He had a right to feel guilty, all those broken promises and out right lies he had told them, all the broken dreams of a perfect family. He had destroyed everything their mother had stood for and for what? The world? 

"Lets go and get this over with, I don't want to miss my show." Gaz said breaking Dib and Professor Membrane from their thoughts as she grabbed her coat off the hook near the door and lead them out to the street. 

Dib followed the two out the front door glaring daggers at his fathers back. Every time this year he would remember just how much he hated his father, he didn't want to think about it too much but everything single little morsel of hate that had accumulated over the year would just burst out at Membranes turned back until it was all gone, waiting to be filled by the year ahead. But this time of year also reminded him how much he missed Gaz. He remembered her when she was young; so open, she had such potential. Guess years of neglect do that to people. But no matter how much they went through they'd always come out together. 

The walk to the graveyard wasn't a long one, but the silence and tension that was felt between the three family members was enough to make the trip feel like it was two hundred thousand miles long. When they arrived Dib felt tired among other things and frustrated, but excited; he had so much to tell her. He walked up to the gate where the rose bush climbed and wove itself around the iron bars and plucked on of the thorned flowers off it. It was his tradition to lay one of the brightest roses on her grave, and these ones were always the most colourful. They always bloomed around this time of the year, he never remembered seeing them so bright, it was ironic to him and he didn't know why. 

He joined his family at her grave, lowering his head and saying a prayer he had read in a book one time. He had never really learnt anything about religion; he was too young to learn off his mother and well that was enough to say it all. Gaz just threw an old crumpled flower she had picked off a bush while they had passed by mumbling something about 'thanks for leaving us with him' and then turning to leave. Dib shook his head and watched her back as she disappeared over the small knoll in the middle of the graveyard. He knew she was hurting, he knew so well that she just wanted to scream and cry and fall to her knees begging for a hand to hod her own. He felt like that all the time; but Gaz, she was so full of pride, even more so than Zim maybe, she would never be caught doing that if it killed her in the end. 

He now turned his attention to his father, they hadn't exchanged a word all day, like most days but wasn't it normal for family members to comfort each other in their times of grieving? Especially a father to his son, but then again nothing was right in his 'family'. It didn't take long for him this year, he merely set down this single white flower in his hand and walked off after Gaz. It was drifting further and further, she was losing her grip on him, and she had lost it on Gaz before she even had it. What was keeping them together? 

He remembered the year after she had died his father had bought millions of wreaths of flowers and had thm placed on every vacant spot around her grave, but Dib know knew why. It wasn't because he was sad that she was gone, it wasn't because he missed her; it was because he felt guilty for leaving her to die while he tended to his precious world. Now the same was happening to him, his world was slowly dying and he didn't notice. Or did he? He buried himself so far into his science it was a surprise he even remembered to breathe. And the same was happening to his children, but he payed as much attention to them as he had to her, it wasn't long now…

Dib grit his teeth as he watched his fathers back disappear over the same knoll. He knew they would wait for him in their silence, he sincerely couldn't remember the last time they had had a conversation that lasted more than thirty seconds. He'd take his time this time, but they'd wait, he didn't know why, maybe it was their way of showing respect for the lingering feelings he had for his dead mother, maybe it was just guilt that they had lost theirs. Whatever it was he was going to make them suffer and take his time.

He knelt down next to her grave reading the fading writing on her once bright and polished tombstone. 

'Dearly departed wife and mother, we will forever grieve the day she left our lives' 

What irony, whoever wrote that didn't know his family very well. Forever grieve, they'd already stopped grieving and she'd only been dead for a few years. If only that poor fool had known the truth he'd be as sick to the stomach as Dib was every year. He brushed the thought aside with a shake of his head, he hated thinking about his family like that, but they did bring it on themselves. He sat down beside the tombstone concentrating his attention on the rose. He carefully peeled each thorn off with his fingernails. This was another tradition of his, his mother, from what he can remember, was the most perfect woman he had seen. There was no way he would out a thorny rose on her grave, that would be almost as bad as Gaz and her crumpled flower. He wanted everything to be exactly like her, so clean and pure and smelling like roses and honey. He didn't know how he remembered what she smelled like, it was just one of those things that get stuck in your head and you know you'll never forget for as long as you live.

Once he had finished pulling the thorns off the roses he set it down beside the flower (tulip that's what it was called) that membrane had put there. He shuffled to kneel down in front of her grave, a single tear making it too his eyes. This was the part he hated the most, but also the part he relished. He laid his hand on the cold stone of her grave and started whispering to her softly.

"I miss you mamma…" He started already feeling the tears wash over him, "You don't have any idea what its like, I'm so alone with out you…"

He bit down hard on his lip swallowing the lump that had knotted itself in his throat. He had so many things to say he didn't know where to start, and if he did start weather he'd be able to stop. 

"I wish so bad you were still here, it just gets worse and worse. Mamma I feel so useless, everyone hates me, you know I don't have a single friend at school mamma, you know that Dad and Gaz, they hate you know. They don't care anymore and I can feel them slipping away."

He breathed in deep still managing to keep his tears at bay. He swallowed again trying to regain some of the moisture in his mouth. He could feel his whole body shaking slightly it was like this every year.

"I don't know what I'm doing here, mamma, you probably won't listen like everyone else… Please give me a sign that you are, mamma I have so much to tell you, I found an alien, I actually have proof! … But what does it matter?"

He felt the tears slip from his eyes now, the cool wet moisture on his burning face. He wanted so badly for her to answer him, at least once, for her to give him a sign that she's not just like everyone else he'd met. That she cared. Every year he would keep everything bottled up until this day when he could just let everything go. But it was harder this year, was he losing her too? 

"Don't mamma don't go, I need you. Please listen to me, I need you, everything is terrible, why did you have to die? Why did you have yo leave us here all alone? Mamma, don't you know that Gaz is so scared? I can tell you that, I'm the only one that knows. And don't you know that dad doesn't care about us? And don't you know that since you're gone I'm left alone in the dark? Please mamma listen."

Again the tears came harder and faster, followed by wracking sobs that reverberated around his body until he was a crying shaking heap. He sat back and drew his knees up to his face leaning his forehead against them and crying until his throat throbbed and his eyes stung. Didn't she know any of this? If she knew wouldn't she listen? He didn't understand, it had been so much easier before, why was it so hard. It was comforting last year, knowing that she was listening to him, letting him talk his mouth off about his paranormal discoveries; about Gaz and Membrane. But now she had turned her back on him like everyone else. 

He bit down on his bottom lip until he was sure he could taste blood. His world was crashing down around him and there was not a single soul that could save him. He felt his head spin and his heart jump in his chest at the mental image he got from that thought. But somewhere amongst the blackness and broken thoughts that swirled like a hurricane inside his mind a single image of Zim floated in settling it in the front of his brain. 

He glanced up at the tombstone and the thornless rose that sat atop it. He still had Zim. He forgot about Zim, he had forgotten everything but the grief and helplessness that surrounded him. He choked back another sob wiping the tears away from his eyes and standing up. He still had a chance, a shining golden ray of hope. He just hoped to every god he had read about that Zim didn't abuse him the way everything else had. Now that he thought of it, it was foolish putting his hope in something so unreliable. Zim was an alien and he was someone trying to catch and expose aliens, they were the exact opposite but that didn't matter. He felt something different about Zim, something in common.

He glanced again at the tombstone and Zim automatically flew from his mind. How could he possibly put his trust in anything when it had been bruised and battered to the point of no return? Was he just blindly walking around leaning against walls that never existed? But he had to hope for something, if he didn't what would his life be? A single monotonous routine of waking eating and sleeping? He wanted more, he wanted to escape the life that everyone ended up in. that's why he wanted Zim, and that's why he wanted the stars.

**

AN: Hello everyone, I know all you ZAGR fans are going to come with your torches and pitchforks to banish me to a land full of toenail clippings and itchy noses but hey its not that bad is it? And you anti slash or whatever will as well, but there's not even anything yet, I saved that for the next part. Yes there will be a part two, the poem does continue, I just took too long on this and it was much too long I ramble much too much. But did it make you cry? I hope so, because its 12:07 am and I have to go to school and study for math tomorrow and get yelled at by my SPD partner for not showing up for practice today (I mean yesterday) and I wasn't really in a teary mood but I wanted so bad for this to be finished that I just put in anything!!! Anyway enough of that, part two will be a long way away I'm just warning you for any people that read this. Unless I get it done by Friday its not going to be up until February sometime. I'm going to Japan and I can't really write and submit stuph there so you see my dilemma? I hoped you enjoy and if you've read this far in my ramblings I feel very sorry for you. Just a last warning part two is major ZADR, slash, Yaoi whatever you want to call it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or any related characters; they belong to Johnen Vasquez and so forth. The Poem Other Worldly Invitation belongs to Blitzkrieg, ^-^ thank you Blitzkrieg  


	2. Part two

Part Two

An Otherworldly Invitation: Part 2   
  
_No one's there now, but follow me and we can change that __  
Then all these people would be imagining you   
  
Zim locked his eyes onto the light; honey colored orbs that belonged to Dib. It was obvious he had been crying, the white part of his eyes was streaked with veins and the skin surrounding them was red and puffy. The rest of Dibs 'family' was there, even what Zim presumed was Dibs father, the tall man in the white; but Dib seemed to be the only one crying. So many questions bombarded Zims' brain, but none of them registered. Everything faded away into a hazy black blur until the only things visible were Dib and his eyes.   
  
His eyes captivated Zim; they drew him into their sorrowful spell until he forgot who he was in place for the obvious pain Dib felt. He couldn't explain it, he didn't dare try to understand it; he just stood in the blackness with Dib and his eyes. He wasn't sure how long he was there, unwavering in his awe; they looked so familiar. He remembered seeing eyes like those. When, he couldn't remember, but they were familiar in an odd way. Like deja vu, like he'd seen them and told himself never to forget, but he had in his flurry of emotions. The blackness suddenly faded when Dibs mouth started to speak.   
  
"Zim..."   
  
_

A simple on syllable word but such a labyrinth of emotion hidden behind it. Zim had never been one to read emotions; it had never before been a necessity. But in that one, otherwise meaningless word, he saw a story played before him. A story of pain and loneliness, a story that reminded him so much of his life he almost fell over. Was this Dibs story? Was this what was held behind the thick glasses and the horribly unkept hair? But it was so familiar.   
  
"Dib," Zim replied feeling his lips move and hearing his voice, but never having to think of it. It was like a dream, so uncannily like a dream he felt if he pinched his arm he would find himself curled up on the warm cushioned armchair that sat in his lab. He felt no control whatsoever over his body. And still they floated in this dream like purgatory, everything gone, blurred by emotion until it was rival against rival.   
  
He wanted to know, why was Dib crying? He wanted to know why his eyes were open letting Zim stare right into his soul. He wanted to know why they weren't fighting and swearing and trying to tear each other to bits. A sudden shocking wave of curiosity mixed with confusion washed over Zim, only hours before he had looked the same. Was it he wasn't as alien as he thought? What was he talking about? He wasn't human; certainly not! But then again, he wasn't Irken either.   
  
Again the misty haze started to engulf Zim as he was shot back into the harsh reality that he lived in. His eyes were open and never again would he be able to close them short of contracting amnesia. He glanced around himself, for the first time taking in the surroundings of the limbo he was in. It was black, not black like the night, or black like under the bathroom sink. It was the bone chilling black that no light could penetrate and it surrounded him on every side. He was alone; standing on a platform made of broken rock, and blurred images floated across the black.   
  
Visions of Irkens and of humans, visions of the stars and of the two moons that orbited him 'home planet.' An unmistakable pang of loneliness shot from Zims insides and made its icy way through his veins all around his body. Who was he? He had lost himself in the battle for his emotions and he couldn't remember. Where did he belong? Was there any place he could call home? He had lost his Irk, his home, his refuge, his pride and his joy. And now here he was, standing confused with images and questions revolving around him like a ghost in a dream his heart pounding furiously in his ears and an icy terror streaking through his veins. He was alone - no he wasn't just alone, he was lost.   
  
"What are you doing here Zim?"   
  
The question came, startling Zim back to the world of color where the setting sun reflected off Dibs eyes turning them and unearthly red hue. But that failed to bother Zim; it was the question that made his body shudder and small goose pimples to crawl up his legs and arms. Such a simple question but no simple answer made it to Zims mind. 'What are you doing here?' What was he doing here? His purpose on this planet had long past its expiry date and now he was just a ghost, a drifter desperately trying to find a final destination.   
  
  
"I don't know..." Zim whispered to himself, drawing a confused stare from Dib. Dib! Zim had almost forgotten about Dib. He looked back up into Dibs questioning eyes, the pit of emotion now slowly closing itself. Every trace of tears had vanished and his head was now cocked slightly to one side. But why had he been crying? Could it be...   
  
"You don't know why you're here" Dib stated, a hint of a smile playing across his lips, but disappearing as soon as it had come.   
  
Was it possible Dib had been crying for the same reason he had been? Was it possible he was just as alone as him? Of course it was possible! But was it true? He had seen his eyes; he had seen his soul. Now he remembered where he had seen them before! He thought back to when he had glanced into his own eyes in the bathroom and everything suddenly became crystal clear. It was his eyes, it was his life, Dib was the same as him, and he was the same as Dib. The loneliness, the neglect, the pain; they had been the same before, but never as similar as this! It was like they had lived the same life under different circumstances. Zim felt a ghost of a smile tug at his lips, maybe he wasn't as alone as he had first thought.   
  
"Uhm I wanted to say..." Zim started catching a glimpse of Dibs expecting glance. He trailed off into silence, words failing him for the moment. This received another smile from Dib, but this time it lasted longer.   
  
"Do you want to come in?"   
  
_I can take you to a star made out of crystal __  
I can show you a sky made out of golden leaves   
  
Dib sniffed again, wiping his eyes and nose with the back of his hand. He glanced up at his father, and then down at Gaz; who was, of course, engulfed in her game. Not a tear reached either of their eyes, nor a sob to their throats, what was wrong with them? Or was there something wrong with him? It was normal to grieve ones mothers' death wasn't it? He shook his head furiously. What was he thinking, of course it was normal! They were the uncaring, soulless monsters. How could his father, of all people, not even grieve his own wives' death? Then that theory popped into his head, did he even notice?   
  
Dib angrily picked at the tissue that was crumpled up in his hand; grabbing a small piece off it then rolling it up in his fingers and throwing it on the ground before his feet. He was angry, that was obvious; she didn't care, just like everyone else! If she didn't care then who did? Was his darkness winning? Maybe she did care but he was so blinded by the stupid darkness to hear her. But then how did that explain everyone else? He could see and hear them clearly; it was quite obvious they resented him. Then, on cue, the sadness slowly crept in.   
  
It had been like this ever since his visit, the whole way home. First he would be confused, asking himself unanswerable questions. Where was she? Did she care? Why didn't they cry? Then he would get mad because he couldn't answer them; it was so frustrating. And then the depression; like a ten-ton weight in his stomach it would come. And the tears would only too soon follow. And right now, the tears were coming, he could feel them prick at the corner of his eyes, could see his vision start to blur. And he did nothing to stop them.   
  
He stopped for a second, stifling a sob. He didn't want to be crying, but the tears came. It was hopeless to stop them, his emotions were at their peak, like every year, but this year was particularly painful. He ran his tongue across his dry lips, his hands shaking while picking apart the tissue. Every year, every year so far he had heard her voice, why not now? Why not this year when everyone else was so far away? When he needed her the most, why didn't she come? The questions again, soon the anger; it would soon be complete.   
  
But his circle of emotions was stopped abruptly when he glanced up at the path ahead of him, only to lock eyes with the familiar, fake, sky blue irises that belonged to Zim. He sniffed sharply blocking a sob and hastily wiping his eyes with his hand. What was Zim doing here? How long ago had he followed Zim home, only to find him in the same state he was in? Crying like a child. It had only been a few hours ago, but here he was; dry eyed, and probably looking for a fight. All of Dibs other questions were pushed aside to make room for the dominant one, Why had Zim been crying? He had asked himself that same question before, but still his mind drew a blank.   
  
What did it matter anyway? It's not like Zim cared, and it wasn't like he cared about Zim either. He was probably here for the same reason as everyone else, to tell him how much of a loser he was and throw something at him. But one glance in Zims eyes told him otherwise. It was such a confused look, like what he imagined his eyes looked like right now. Confused and... lost? Dib thought back to their encounter on Zims doorstep. He had looked lost then too, lost and scared, and alone; so much like what he felt now. Their similarities were amazing; this wasn't the first time he had noticed this.   
  
Without even noticing it, Dibs world seemed to crumble around him leaving him standing there, in the middle of this stark blackness on a slab of ground only big enough for him. It was him and Zim, standing, staring, neither speaking, neither moving. It was unnerving, the silence, he needed to break it, but was scared of what would happen. It was deafening, and Zims eyes bore into his open soul. He needed to get away, but he wasn't sure how.   
  
"Zim..." He whispered satisfied at the result it had. The blackness faded and stars like the night sky started to appear. But Zims eyes refused to move, staring so deep into his it was hypnotizing; he didn't dare look away.   
  
"Dib..." Zim replied in a monotone so unlike him. And so many emotions passed over his face. First he looked confused, his head cocking slightly to one side as if he wanted to ask Dib a question but didn't know how to put it. Then his forehead furrowed in anger, as if Dibs lack of response angered him. Then, like the circle that had so recently engulfed Dib, his face softened and his eyes became so sad, and lost. Exactly as they had been only hours before, on the doorstep near the unkept garden and lawn gnomes that guarded his house.   
  
Dib furiously shook his head, blinking himself back to the world of color. He didn't like it there, in that limbo of silence and darkness. It reminded him of the loneliness that he suffered everyday. But Zim still seemed to be trapped there, alone. His eyes were glazed and had a far off look in them, but his face was contorted slightly with terror, like he was having a nightmare in the middle of the afternoon, in the middle of the streets, just outside of Dibs house.   
  
"What are you doing here Zim?"   
  
The question came, he hadn't even meant to say it, but it had done its job. Zim blinked and his eyes were focused but still confused. He blinked a few times, but never once removed his gaze from Dibs. He seemed to be contemplating the question as if Dib had just asked him the meaning of life.   
  
"I don't know..." Zim replied drawing a confused glance from Dib   
  
He wasn't here to fight? He wasn't here to swear? He wasn't here to reign doom down upon the earth? Something was definitely wrong with Zim, and it wasn't just his eyes. His attitude, his demeanor, they had changed so suddenly, only a few days ago he had been plotting doom, well maybe not, but he had certainly been more Zimmy than he was now. Maybe it was a ploy, a play on his emotions. No Zim wasn't that smart, and it wouldn't have lasted this long. And his voice wouldn't be so quiet, and there were a lot of things that told Dib other wise, he didn't spend all year watching the alien for nothing. But he couldn't shake the feeling of foreboding that pricked at the back of his neck.   
  
"You don't know what you're doing here?" He asked a small smile tugging at his lips. But it vanished as soon as it had come. Zim really was confused. If that wasn't enough to set him off on a long speech about how he would doom mankind, then as far as Dibs knowledge went he was innocent. Zim opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it quickly giving Dib a confused look. What was going through his brain? So many questions ran through Dibs brain he could barely get a hold of one! But the main one was; could this be his chance? Finally after so long he could tell Zim, he could ask Zim about the stars.   
  
"Uhm I was going to say..." Zim started, yes he was innocent. When words fail Zim something is definitely wrong, this was his chance. He felt a small smile creep to his lips in spite of himself. Maybe today wasn't as bad as he first thought.   
  
"Do you want to come in?"   
  
__I can find you anything you wish to be found __  
If you just take this chance and follow me.   
  
Zim followed Dib into the double story house, glancing around in wonder at the unruly front lawn, compared to the perfectly mowed and cut grass of the neighbors. Dib stood holding the front door open, a small but pleasant smile gracing his lips. It wasn't like Dib to look so calm around him, it was slightly unnerving but at the same time, comforting. He smiled back feeling it come out a little awkward but satisfied at the overall effect. Dibs cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he diverted his eyes following Zim inside and closing the door.   
  
"Dib why is Zim here?" Zim glanced over at Dibs younger sister, she seemed confused and slightly annoyed, the little toy she always carried around balanced in her hands and a piece of pizza dangling out of her mouth. Zim watched Dib as he shifted his gaze from Gaz to him then back again. He shrugged and grabbed Zims arm pulling him up the stairs to a door with posters of UFOs and other abnormal things plastered all over it.   
  
Zim couldn't say anything, his mind reeling with questions and thoughts. What was he doing here inside the enemies house? But how long ago had he stopped calling him enemy? The change had been so sudden; he didn't even realize it. One moment he was Zim; the next someone else. And the same for Dib, when had he stopped wanting to 'expose' him? Was this another of Dibs plots to reveal his secret? No, Dib wasn't that smart. And he wouldn't have been able to keep the act up this long.   
  
"This is my room" Dib said opening the door to reveal a sea of clothes and paper. It didn't look like anything at the moment; all sorts of gadgets lay strew across the floor, and, Zim noticed, several pictures of him with and without his disguise. It was creepy, but at the same time... charming. He didn't know where that word had come from, it seemed appropriate though. Dib rushed in before Zim and threw some things off what he presumed was a bed, and motioned for him to sit.   
  
'Uh sorry it's a bit messy," Dib apologized crawling up the ladder to his 'bed' and sitting cross-legged on it.   
  
"A bit messy?" Zim mumbled to himself as he picked his way around the odd bits of stuff and climbed up the ladder. Zim couldn't help but keep shifting in the uncomfortable silence that hung over both of them. He could tell Dib was feeling just as out of place as he was. He scanned his brain for something, anything to say, but nothing came. He had never been this tongue tied before, at least around Dib; there was always something to say, usually too much. He bit down hard on his bottom lip; there were so many questions he had wanted to ask Dib, but now they seemed to fly out of his head.   
  
"Uh do you want something to drink?" Dib asked nervously biting his bottom lip. Then obviously remembering Zims dislike for human food, brought his hands up to cover his mouth.   
  
"No I'm fine." Zim replied softly.   
  
The silence was deafening. It was crushing him like a ten thousand-ton weight. He couldn't bare it, it suffocated him; he was drowning in it, the dead silence that filled the messy room. He needed to break it, he had to say something, do something; but still his mind drew a blank. He glanced up into Dibs eyes; it was obvious he was just as uncomfortable with the silence. It was strange to think about it, but for some reason when he looked into Dibs eyes, like he was just now, his insides would go all light and funny, like someone had taken all the gravity out of his organs and they were floating happily inside him. And the silence didn't seem to bother him anymore.   
  
"Uh Zim..." Zim blinked, startled, yet relieved at the noise that now filled the room.   
  
Dib looked down, picking nervously at the sheets, his hands obviously shaking. Again the feeling of anti gravity filled Zims belly and he felt his face flush. What was wrong with him? Why did these strange things keep happening to him? It was almost the same as when he had found that paper clip in the hallway. But now it was deeper, more meaningful. He had a sudden urge to reach out and grab Dibs hand, to stop the violent shaking that now coursed through it, but he restrained himself. What would he think if all of a sudden they had contact? But why did that bother him anyway?   
  
"I've been wanting to ask you... um..." Dib continued his eyes darting around the room nervously, everywhere but at Zim.   
  
"Yes..." Zim prodded. Dib looked up surprised at Zims voice, hadn't he expected him to talk? His hand was shaking even worse then before and he had to clench it into a fist to stop. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Dib made eye contact and it was the most bizarre thing Zim had seen. Through all his travels, through all his years, he had never soon something so- so... he didn't know how to put it. Beautiful?   
  
"Uhm I wanted to ask you." He started again his sentence stopping abruptly half way through and his mouth hanging open slightly. And, if it were possible, Zims belly lightened even more.   
  
"What's- what's it like in the stars?" He choked out, his face flushing a deep shade of crimson.   
  
The stars? Why did he want to know that? What's it like in the stars? It's beautiful, it's amazing; it's perfect, it's everything that earth isn't. It's everything and nothing; it's huge, it's dark; it's terrifying. It's nothing and everything, why did it matter? He can see the stars from here; it's the same, but everywhere. You're engulfed in the stars; they surround you on every side. You're drowning in a see of stars, and there's nothing to stop you succumbing to insanity, nothing but the knowledge that the stars aren't everything. And if you're not careful you'll find yourself lost in those same droplets of crystal that bewitch you with their beauty. But why were the stars important?   
  
"Why?"   
  
__There's not a lot of time to talk about it __  
the sky beyond is not going away, but this earth is and soon   
  
"Why?"   
  
Why? Why not? The stars were all he had ever wanted; they had been his escape, his release, his dreams, they had kept him from thinking of her. They had given him refuge from the sorrows and hardships of the days, and sprinkled their crystal beauty over the darkness that engulfed his heart. The stars were everything to him; they were the only things that kept him alive through the grieving and the loneliness. They held his past and his future in their twinkling hands. It was only natural he would want to know.   
  
Dib glanced up at Zim feeling his face flush with embarrassment. Where did that come from? His heart skipped a beat at the thought that forced its way into his head. Was he in love with Zim? No that couldn't be it, Zim was an alien; Zim was his enemy. But how long had it been since he stopped calling him enemy? He was here now, sitting on his bed, his eyes, not angry or sadistic or malicious like they should be. But waiting, patient, no he wasn't his enemy anymore. But that didn't mean he loved him, then what was that funny pricking feeling in his chest? What was that squirming in his stomach? It wasn't the cafeteria food, he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, so then why did he feel so... funny?   
  
"The stars?" Zim, asked but it was more of a statement that a question. His gloved hand was resting on his chin and his face contorted in thought.   
  
Dib couldn't say anything as another wave of... funny, washed through him. How he wished it was his hand that rested so perfectly on Zims' chin. Dib blinked at the thought, careful not to show too many of these feeling through. What was his thinking; his hand on Zims' chin? That wasn't right. He removed his eyes from Zim, looking around, trying to find anything to distract his thoughts. But everywhere he looked it would link back to Zim. All the photos, the gadgets, even his clothes reminded him somehow of Zim. So he settled his eyes on his lap, as his shaking hands picked at the bed sheets.   
  
"Well I don't really know..." Zim finished suddenly making Dib jump slightly. He must have caught that movement and was now staring questioningly at him, one invisible eyebrow raised. Dib coughed nervously trying anything to get Zim to stop staring. It was making him uncomfortable, well anymore uncomfortable than he already was. It almost felt like Zim was undressing him with his eyes. Dibs eyes widened and he mentally slapped himself at the thought. No! This wasn't right, these feelings, these thoughts, they were so very wrong.   
  
"Are you okay?" Zim asked moving his head closer to Dibs and peering into his averted eyes.   
  
Dib felt his heart tighten then start beating faster than it ever had. Zim was too close, so close; it was driving him insane. He wanted to reach over and press his lips against his. Dib flinched at the thought, his movement obviously being caught by Zim. He glanced up but refused to make eye contact. Zim looked scared. No, not scared, worried. Out of the corner of his eye Dib could make him out, scrutinizing him, picking him apart with his sky blue lenses. Why was he being tormented like this? All he wanted to know was what was in the stars. Where had this, this... attraction come from? It had just appeared and now it was torturing him.   
  
"Dib?" Dib flicked his eyes over to Zims but immediately regretting it, "What's wrong? Do you have one of those Earth viruses or something?"   
  
You could call it that; yes that was a perfect word. But it wasn't an earth virus; it was a... what did Zim call it again? An Irken virus. Zim had given him a virus, one that squished his stomach around and made his heart thump frantically in his chest; because he certainly wasn't in love with the alien. He had only loved one thing in his life, and he would never make that mistake again. Then a thought popped into his head. Out of no where it came but it seemed like a good idea.   
  
"Zim..." Dib started, his eyes never once leaving Zims, "Can you, can you take your disguise off?"  
  
Zim seemed baffled by the question, his eyes darting around the room nervously. Did he suspect something? He again locked eyes with Dib (the virus kicking in again) his mouth moving, opening and closing, but no words coming out. Maybe that wasn't the best question; maybe he should have stuck to the stars. He had only just, a few minuets ago, hopefully, gained Zims trust, did he just blow it all in that one stupid question?   
  
"You- you don't have to," Dib tried waving his hands frantically, "I-I was just curious, I'm not going to take photos or anything, I-I just want to see..."  
  
Zim blinked a few times, his teeth showing over his bottom lip as he chewed it thoughtfully.   
  
"Okay..."   
  
Dib gasped (much to Zims amusement) and sat back, his eyes wide with shock. He was really going to do it. Dib waited with baited breath, his heart a jackhammer in his chest. Slowly, too slowly, Zim reached up and removed his wig. Dib had seen it before, he had photos of Zim without his disguise, but now he was so close. Before Dib knew it, Zims toupee was off and two thin antennae were uncurling themselves. Dib stared; he couldn't do anything else. He managed to unlock his gaze from the antenna and bring his eyes down to Zims.   
  
"Can- can I touch them?" He asked nervously   
  
Zim seemed to be pondering the question as he reached his hands up to massage the appendages. He furrowed his brow, then looked down and Dib and gave a wordless nod. Dib couldn't contain his excitement, this was better than photos, this was better than drawings; this was the real thing. He reached his shaking hand up and gently stroked one of the long black antennae. Zims body shook slightly, Dib noticed, and his eyes shut tightly. He forced all of the bizarre thoughts out of his head, intent on this being none more than an encounter with an alien. He removed his hand from the antenna and Zims body relaxed slightly, his jaw and his fists unclenching. And despite all his efforts Dib couldn't help but think that that was a show of intimacy in Zims race.   
  
Without Dib even having to ask, Zim reached up and started pulling off the contacts that blocked his real eyes from the world. With a sickening slurp, one of the contacts peeled off revealing a river of thick sticky looking goo; almost like paste, and one large magenta orb. Every one of Dibs limbs went numb with shock, his mouth hanging open slightly. If this were the case a few days ago he would be frantically taking pictures yelling at Zim how he would finally expose him for the alien he so is. But now, he could barely breathe. With the adrenaline gone there was nothing stopping him from realizing how amazing Zims eyes really were. The other lens was off with as much grace as the other one, and staring back at him were not the fake blue eyes Zim had dubbed as his own; but two large ruby jewels, unlike anything Dib had seen before. It was breathtaking.   
  
__Not to rush, but you should come while you still have the chance __  
We could watch it all or feast our eyes on something new   
  
Zim smiled smugly as he watched Dibs eyes flick from his antennae to his eyes and back again. He didn't know why it was so, but seeing this childish delight in Dibs eyes brought him a sense of being. He was still a little wary, he knew he shouldn't trust Dib, how many times had he tried to kill him or expose him? But what did he have to lose? It wasn't as if he could fail his mission anymore, it wasn't as if it really mattered if he got off this rock in one piece or several. And plus Dib looked so... cute like that._

Zim mentally slapped himself for thinking like that, what would the human think if he suddenly got all mushy? But what did he care what Dib thought? Since when did anything like that ever matter to him? But he still couldn't shake the thought, Dib looked positively cute. His eyes large and sparkling with delight and his mouth hanging open slightly. Maybe this was what GIR meant when he said things were cute. But why was he referring to a faulty SIR unit anyway?

"Zim..."

Zim glanced up at Dibs voice; he wasn't going to ask him to take off his uniform was he? 

'_Oh but I bet you'd like that wouldn't you?'_

Zims eyes widened at the strange voice that had made its way into his head. He would not like it! He barely even noticed Dibs reaction as he pondered the origin of the haunting voice. Why would his mind say something like that? Since when has he wanted to take off his uniform for anyone? Let alone Dib, Dib was the enemy; Dib was his rival, so why did it sound like an increasingly good idea?

"Uh Zim?" Dib started again interrupting the confusing thoughts, "Are you alright?"

Well technically he wasn't alright, he was confused and embarrassed but he didn't want Dib to know that.

"Yeah fine," He replied automatically locking eyes with Dib; his insides went funny, what was this? An earth virus? But it wouldn't feel so good if it was an earth virus would it? These thoughts were driving him insane.

"Uhm I was wondering..." Again Dib was talking, but it was better than the silence, which gave his thoughts time to work and that was a bad thing, "You know... uh about the stars..."

Why Dib wanted so bad to see the stars was far beyond Zim, but at the mere mention of then a thought struck him like lightning. He didn't know why he would want to carry this plan through; the only reason that came to his mind was this blissful earth virus, but he knew that if it worked than that delight would once again shine so brightly in Dibs eyes and that was exactly what he wanted to see right now.

"Dib, why do you want to see the stars?"

"Why?" Dib looked confused at the question, but his answer came instantly, "I've always wanted to see the stars, its not very often a person like me gets the chance to be up there with the stars, and... oh you wouldn't understand..."

Zim wasn't to keen on pursuing that right now, but the idea of showing Dib the stars was becoming more and more appealing by the moment. It wouldn't be too hard, the Voot cruiser wasn't in the best condition, it wouldn't be able to fly to the edge of the galaxy, but it would be enough to get them to the stars. I'm still wasn't quite sure why he wanted to bad to do this, in his right mind he would have scalded himself just for the idea, but how long had it been since he stopped using his right mind?

"I can show you the stars Dib," Zim announced softly watching the boys reaction carefully. For a moment his face was passive, blank, then his eyes widened and his mouth opened and closed in silent conversation. This had been the reaction Zim had expected and Dibs next words brought a satisfied smile to his lips

"When?" 

"As soon as you want," Zim replied simply looking forward to this excursion more and more by the second. He didn't know why, he seemed to be at a loss for many things at the moment but one thing was for sure. He wanted Dib to see the stars, not because he wanted Dib to be happy, or was that it? Now he wasn't even sure of the one thing he was sure of. What was happening to him?

"Really? Can we go now?" That sparkling wonder had reignited itself in Dibs eyes and Zim became sure for the first time that day of what he wanted. He wanted Dib to be happy, it was simple. He wasn't sure why, it was a strange thing for an Irken to want, but he wasn't an Irken anymore so it couldn't be that strange could it? It was a weird feeling, wanting something that wasn't for himself. He was taught throughout his life that it was every Irken for himself and until now that theory had seemed quite rational. But now his black and white world had had suddenly revealed so many different shades of gray. 

"I have to make some arrangements first, but we could make it in a few hours." Zim replied eagerly. He replaced his wig and lenses and scrambled down the ladder from the bed. 

"What time?" Dib asked crawling down the ladder to join Zim, "Do I have to bring anything?"

"Um... just come around in few hours and don't bother bringing anything, you wont need it." He gave Dib a small swift smile before retreating out of the room, he needed to hurry, the Voot cruiser need working on and the lat thing he wanted was for the Voot cruiser to break down in the middle of space.

_'Oh but you would like that wouldn't you, all alone in the middle of space with Dib'_

Zim stopped suddenly before the front door and slammed a fist to his forehead. Stars winked in front of his eyes for a moment but the voice was gone now. He glanced around and saw Dibs sister watching him curiously from the couch in the living room. He scowled at her as if she were the one berating his thoughts and stalked out.

"Weirdo..."

  
_Do you ever look up at the sky above you? __  
Well, there are a million skies just waiting to be searched   
  
_

Dib couldn't believe his luck; he couldn't believe any of this. It had to all be an elaborate dream, nothing this good ever happened to him. He pinched his arm hard, it hurt and he was still here in this dream like reality. He stood for a moment at the door to his bedroom where, only moments before his ex-rival had exited after telling Dib the one thing he had wanted since his mother died. The stars, he was going to see them, he would finally be up there, in the heavens, where his mother resided. Would he see her? No of course he wouldn't all he'd see was stars, but that was so much more than anything Dib ever expected from Zim. He didn't even remember how it had happened and it had only been minuets before that the exchange had taken place. He could only stand there and stare at the dark hallway trying in vain to gather his thoughts together.

He needed to tell someone, even someone who didn't care, someone like Gaz. Without thinking he hurried down the stairs to the living room were Gaz was sitting. She looked like she always did, bored and irritable, but she couldn't have looked more open to conversation than she had in years. He ran over to stand in front of the TV but before he could even reach it Gaz stopped him.

"I don't care Dib, don't you even think of standing there because if you do you know evil things will befall you." 

"But Gaz you don't understand!" Dib tried moving closer to the TV

"Don't even think about it, I don't want to know, leave me alone." 

Dib stopped at that last sentence. Gaz was usually rude and abrupt but there was something about the way she had said those last few words that unnerved Dib. It was true Dib thought his little sister was a soulless monster, as he did his father, but despite that he did care for them. It wasn't Gazs' fault, being ignored and neglected did that to someone, and she had been subject to it worse than he had, she didn't even remember what life was like before these times. He knew that she, like him, did care for her family in her own way, and he couldn't help but wonder when he would see her again. He didn't know why he wondered that, it wasn't as if Zim was taking him to some far off planet to stay, he was only going to the stars; but the raw emotion in Gazs' last words made Dib nervous. Would he ever see her again?

"Gaz I..." He started moving away from the TV and close to her

"I thought I told you to leave me alone." She said; the dangerous emotionless tone back in place. 

Dib didn't know what to think, he wanted to get close to her, to comfort her, but at the same time he knew that if he did he probably wouldn't live to tell the tale. He never usually noticed things like this; Gaz to him was a phantom, just another faceless prop that made up his life. But right now, in light of everything that had passed she looked more like a human than she ever had before. And it was then he realised that, if he were to leave for good, if Zim was to show him more than just the stars, he would miss her. 

"Go away." She mumbled shooting him a warning glance full of malice and anger. Would she miss him if her were to leave?

He knew it would be a little far fetched if he were to ask her that right now, maybe one day though he could ask her if she would miss him as he would miss her. But now was hardly the time to think about that, if he stood around all night and pondered the way his sisters' brain worked he would never get another chance to see the stars. He wasn't sure why he wanted so bad to know Gazs' feelings towards him, maybe once he got back he could ask her and then he would know why she mattered to him so much. He shot one last questioning glance at her turned head and retreated from the living room. 

He skipped up the stairs three at a time and ran into the bathroom. He didn't know how long he had stood there with Gaz but it had felt like a long time. He grabbed a comb from the bathroom sink and tried in vain to tame him hair. He didn't know what was wrong with it; no matter how hard he tried it would always have that horrid spike right through the middle of it. He tried a few more times with the comb then gave up, settling on brushing his teeth instead. He emerged from the bathroom with butterflies running rampant in his stomach; he could feel the colour drain from his face and the sweat start to form on his hands. Why was he so nervous? He was just going to see the stars. Maybe that in itself was the reason he was so shaky. 

Finally, after so many years he was finally going to be up there, among those wonderful beautiful pin pricks of light, with Zim. A jolt ran through his body at the simple thought of that name, and made the butterflies in his stomach nearly come flying out with his lunch. But that wasn't important, he could ignore that, his nerves were simply because he was so excited about finally going to see the stars. Why else would he feel so incredibly light headed? It certainly wasn't because of Zim; that was just ridiculous, how could an alien make him feel like that? 

So he made his way down the stairs, waved a hand at Gaz and walked out the door in to the darkness, trying desperately to convince himself that what he was feeling was nothing more than it should be. Yet by the time he had reached Zims doorstep his view had changed completely. Every time he even thought about Zim, his eyes, his face, that jolt would be there to electrify him. And in the end he just had to give up and except the fact that, though he did desperately want to see the stars and finally fulfil his dreams, he also wanted Zim to be there, though not as much as he wanted to fulfil his dreams, or was it the other way around? He clawed at his hair gritting his teeth and trying to clear his head of all the confusing thoughts that were crammed in there. He couldn't like Zim, he just couldn't, it wasn't right. 

He hesitated in ringing the doorbell. He didn't know if he was truly ready for this, he couldn't think as it was, he'd hate to think what would happen to his brain if Zim were with him. But he couldn't turn back; this was the only chance he had to finally see the long awaited stars. It was just so confusing, he was torn, we wanted to go, wanted to run, but wanted so badly to stay. He took a deep calming breath trying, once again, to clear his head of thoughts, it didn't exactly work as well as he had planned but there wasn't much he could do now. How long had he been standing here? He gathered up all the nerves and bravado he had and slowly raised his hand to the doorbell. He took another deep breath, closed his eyes tightly, and pressed. He could hear the chime of the bell echo from inside the seemingly empty house. He wondered vaguely if Zim was actually home or if this was another scheme to either destroy him or the world. But his ponders were cut short by the door swinging open sharply and Zim, panting and dirty, ushering him inside. 

_You'd be amazed how different the universe looks __  
From each perspective on every different __perch   
  
_

After leaving Dibs house Zim had run all the way back to his base, ignoring the queer looks by the passing humans and animals. Not that he ever did notice those types of things, unless you count one certain human. Zim hastily shook the concept from his head wanted more than anything to rid himself of those troubling thoughts, he needed to occupy himself, and he was in luck as there was much to prepare. When he reached the base he stopped for a moment to observe the sad stat in which it stood. No Irken should be reduced to this, but he wasn't an Irken anymore, he seemed to be reminding himself that more and more lately. He again shook the useless ponderings from his head; he didn't have time to feel sorry for himself or his base. As the seconds flew by, he was growing more and more excited about the trip.

He quickly ran inside and found the nearest elevator to the lab, the trip seemed to take forever but once he had reached the bottom floor he was again struck by the thoughts he had so wished to avoid. Lying on the nearest table, broken and beaten, was what remained of his once faithful GIR. As much as he hated the stupid little robot, he couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt stab through him. He slowly made his way over to the lump of mangled metal peering apprehensively into the dull black orbs that had once held so much life. He bit down hard on his bottom lip screwing up his face trying to forget just why GIR was in that state. He had successfully managed to almost forget why he was alone and abandoned for a few brief hours, but he had had other important things to think about then, now that he was alone there was nothing stopping the thoughts from flowing freely. 

But he couldn't let them get him down, he had Dib to think about, and that was most important over all. Why? He had tried to ask himself that numerous times, each answer just as absurd as the last. Was it because he was desperately trying to find something, anything to cling onto? Was it a cry for help, was he finally going insane? Nothing really helped him; the only thing his solutions got him was more questions. If he didn't fear he had already cracked he would have thought he was losing his mind. He glanced once more down at the lifeless GIR, wanting any reason to remove his thoughts from Dib, it was too confusing and that was the last thing he wanted now. 

He slapped himself across the head a few times, cursing and berating himself in Irken until little black stars winked at him from all around. He blinked a few times, ripping off his wig and lenses and throwing them aside. He wouldn't need them anymore, tonight would be his final night on earth. He diverted his eyes from the broken and beaten GIR and walked purposefully over to the Voot Cruiser. He'd need every last morsel of machine or metal to get it up to date but he didn't need any of his other equipment anymore, it was all useless outdated junk, it would serve a higher purpose. He glared up at the Voot Cruiser as if it were defying him or contradicting his thoughts. He would get away; he would not spend another day on this planet. Not even if Dib wanted him to.

He set to work repairing the Cruiser, using parts from anything he could find. It was times like these he thanked the education he had received on Irk. He was only interrupted from his work twice, once when the computer blared an intruder alert, which turned out to be a bounty hunter looking for a small green and black dog. The second time being a loud crash from the upper levels of the base, which turned out to be a very disgruntled looking Dib and two broken gnomes. Once Dib had appeared working on the Cruiser had become very difficult due to the ridiculous amount of question which came from his mouth, how much could one human possibly want to know about a Voot Cruiser, and a very old one at that? But that wasn't the only thing about Dib that distracted Zim. No, he also happened to look very cute. But that was a thought for another time.

"So uh... when are we... you know… going to see the stars?" 

It had to be about the sixth time Dib had asked in under half an hour and it was certainly the last. The Voot Cruiser wasn't nearly finished, he was only just getting started, but he was so sick of Dib asking he connected the wires that would make the cruiser go and snapped at Dib to get in. Dib 'oohed' and 'aahed' all the way up and, much to Zims annoyance; took pictures of the earth at different places in the atmosphere. He had gone as far as the earth's moon and stopped, reasoning that he couldn't push the cruiser any farther or he'd have to start the upgrades all over again. But once they were up there, staring down at the great blue globe and surrounded by the millions of tiny stars that usually drove him insane, he couldn't help but feel comforted by Dibs presence.

He glanced over at Dib whos' face was pressed painfully up again the glass of the Voot Cruiser. Every few seconds he'd have to wipe the glass free of spit and foggy breath but Zim was thoroughly amazed at how long Dib could just stare out there at the blackness, it usually creeped Zim out. Though he was trained and, from birth, told how vast and never-ending the universe was, he just couldn't help but feel so insignificant every time he looked out at the blackness. He was just one Irken against this infinite universe, there was so much to see and do that he could never accomplish. There was so much uncharted territory that not even the Tallest could possibly conquer. It was just too much thinking that he didn't want to do. 

A thought occurred to Zim, something that he had certainly thought about before (in the last few hours) but had never actually thought of putting into action. It was true he was leaving earth, what creature in their right mind would want to stay there? And it was also very true he had contemplated asking Dib if, he too, wanted to leave. Now was the best, and only, time Zim had to ask him. What was there to lose? If Dib declined it would be a perfect way to finally overcome that attachment disorder he had had since birth (because he now admitted he was particularly attached to this human). If Dib accepted then he wouldn't have to overcome anything and he would have someone there. There was nothing to lose.

"Dib…"

"Mamma…" 

Zim stalled and blinked a few times in confusion. Did Dib just say 'Mamma?' That was certainly not what he had expected. He peered closer at Dib who had come across quite teary but his gaze was still stuck outside at the starry blackness and the blue glow of the earth below. What was going through his head right now? Then, as if in answer to Zims thoughts Dib turned around in his seat to face him. His eyes were full of tears but his jaw was set. 

"Zim, I want to go back."

That had been most unexpected. Only what, half an hour ago he had been so desperate to get into space he had almost exploded. Now he sat there, his eyes stubborn and his breathing ragged demanding he go back. Zim needed time to at least ask Dib if he would some with him. This wasn't fair, the human was being so selfish, couldn't he wait just a few more minuets?

"No, I want you to come with me." Zim blurted out causing Dib to back away slightly, "I'm leaving, you don't expect me to stay on that filthy planet any longer than I have to do you? My mission is over Dib, they disowned me, I cant go back but I am certainly not staying." 

"And you want me to come with you?" Dib repeated breathlessly. His eyes were large being his glasses and his mouth hung open slightly. 

"Yes, I don't know where I'm going and I don't really care as long as I get away from here and from everything that was." 

Zim looked hopefully over at Dib, he did want the human to come with him he really did. That filthy planet didn't deserve him, he did. He was attached and he could clearly remember just how hard it was to leave things he was attached to behind. He knew very well Dib wanted nothing more than to see the universe in its whole, the human was far more advanced than the rest of the filthy beasts. And he, Zim, could show him more than even his brain could absorb. It was only fair.

"But… what about…" Dib stuttered obviously trying to grasp any reason to stay. Though Zim couldn't exactly understand why, it's not like they would miss him.

"Think about it Dib, who would miss you? Come with me and I can show you things you can't even dream of. Trust me." Maybe the last words were a bit too much, how was Dib supposed to trust him when he had been acting on the Tallest orders since he came to earth? But never-the-less his words seemed to have the desired effect on Dib. His face broke out into a wide grin and his eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

"Alright, if you put it that way, when can we leave?"

  
_I have to go now, so please let me take me with you __  
I can take you to far more than this puny world can give _

Dib could hardly believe his eyes, he couldn't believe his brain, he couldn't believe that this was actually reality. Here he was, sitting in this alien spacecraft, heading towards the stars. He took pictures, even though plenty of pictures had been taken from satellites and such before this was different. If only his eyes were video cameras, because not even pictures could possibly capture the beauty of what he was seeing. Everything seemed to fade into a wonderful dream like state. Everything disappeared, Zim, the spacecraft, the whirring noise coming from the craft, until it was just him gradually floating away from the huge blue orb that he called home. 

He couldn't quite remember the last time he had felt so complete, but he was sure it was a time when his mother was alive. Nothing ever went right after she was gone. He pressed his face up against the glass of the ship, occasionally craning his neck back so he could wipe the steam from his breath away. He didn't know when he'd get another chance like this so he had to savour it. He didn't even notice the weird looks from Zim nor did he notice anything else. It was all just a beautiful dream that he never wanted to wake up from. He wondered idly if this was what death was like.

He had been pondering that for a while, what was it like to die? Was it just like this? Up here among the beautifully twinkling stars with the earth hovering below like a huge sapphire. Was this where she was? Was she seeing the same thing as him? Did she even care? Dib shook his head frantically, he didn't want to get into that train of thought again it wasn't right. He had been mourning her death for long enough, it was time to move on. This was possibly his only chance in space; he didn't want to waste it thinking wistfully about something that could never be his. He had other things now, he had the stars, he had Zim.

But was that enough? Sure the stars were nice, it was a dream come true to finally be up here amongst them, and Zim was… well Zim was Zim. But there were things he didn't have, things that most people took for granted, things like love and people that cared. He didn't have either of those; he had a sister with no soul and a father that couldn't even remember his name. He didn't have friends; he didn't even have any pets. He was too allergic to have anything but a bowlful of stupid goldfish. The only thing he had was Zim and a dead mother and what good were those things? Zim didn't care about anything but destroying the planet and his mother was dead. 

Dib shook his head again. He was letting those stupid thoughts invade his mind again. So what if no one cared, at least he wouldn't be hurt when they left, or would he? It was true other people didn't care about him but that didn't stop him from caring about them. Wasn't that his problem all along? He cared for all of them. The kids at school, why else would he stop Zim from destroying them, hell in normal circumstances Zim would be doing him a favour! His sister, he even admitted it to himself that he would miss her if she were to leave. His father, no matter how little attention he payed to him and Gaz, he would be thoroughly depressed if he were to die. And Zim, Zim of all things, he cared for Zim. The alien had burrowed its way into his heart like some disgusting disease and now he was stuck with him. But most of all he cared for Her. His mother, that's right he was a mummy's boy, and he would do anything to get her back. 

"Dib…

"Mamma…"

He felt the tears prick at his eyes, now of all times he had to stumble on this miraculous discovery that would evidently lead to his breakdown. He just hoped Zim wasn't watching him. But now he realised what Zim meant when he said the stars would drive you crazy. They were, with their promises and hopes. It wasn't fair that the only thing he had ever wanted was mocking him so. He glared through his tears at the stars which winked happily at him. Damn them! He had to get away, or they truly would drive him insane.

"Zim, I want to go back." He turned to Zim, desperately wanting to take his eyes off the stars. But even in Zims eyes, in those lovely ruby orbs, the stars winked at him. He had to get away. 

"No, I want you to come with me. I'm leaving; you don't expect me to stay on that filthy planet any longer than I have to do you? My mission is over Dib, they disowned me, I can't go back but I am certainly not staying." 

Dib sat back, stunned. He had certainly not expected that. What did he mean they disowned him? His mission was over? Wasn't his mission to destroy the earth? Dib glanced out the window of the ship once more to make sure the earth was still there. And it was, glowing like a most magnificent gem. How could his mission be over if the world was still there? And where exactly was he going? If They disowned him where was he supposed to go? But this mean he was leaving earth, maybe to explore the universe. If Dib went with him how much could he see? He could only begin to imagine what was waiting out there for him.

"And you want me to come with you?" Dib repeated breathlessly. 

"Yes, I don't know where I'm going and I don't really care as long as I get away from here and from everything that was." 

Dib wasn't quite sure what Zim meant by 'everything that was' but it hardly mattered. He had a chance that no human ever got; he had the chance to see the universe. The universe was so vast, there would be so many things just waiting for him to explore. But what about the things he was leaving behind? Gaz, Professor Membrane, Skool? He'd be leaving them all behind, but what did they matter compared to what he was heading towards? He could let them get in the way of something so great, couldn't let those that didn't even give a damn get in the way of a dream so much better than reality. But would he miss them? Would they miss him?  

"But… what about…"

"Think about it Dib, who would miss you? Come with me and I can show you things you can't even dream of. Trust me."

Trust him? Would that be possible? How many times had he heard that? He wasn't quite sure he could trust anyone anymore. But one glance in Zims eyes told him all he needed to know. He couldn't see the stars anymore, couldn't see her face or the blackness or even the earth which shone so brightly. All he could see was sincerity, and that was all he needed. In a world filled with crooks and liars sincerity was a treasure prized above everything else. Maybe Dib could never trust another human, but Zim wasn't exactly human was he? 

"Alright, if you put it that way, when can we leave?"

  
_I know you've grown attached to this earth, but it won't miss you __  
And you'll never think of it in the new life that you can live   
  
_

Authors Notes: Okay so I lied… it's not exactly yaoi. But the original story that I had planned in my head was, at least I think it was… the other one had a lot more… yaoiness in it. Well not even that really, I didn't plan them kissing or even holding hands or anything yaoi. Maybe this story is more of a friendship thing. But it has reference to yaoi, just be content with that. 

Another thing I must apologise about. I did promise I would have this finished by February but well… February is such a short month and technically I'm only a few days late. And plus, I only just got back two weeks ago, give me a break. And I've had so much homework I can hardly breath. And that's saying something considering I never get homework let alone do it. 

Anyway the third and final thing I must apologise about is.. my English teacher had given me a very low self esteem about my spelling and grammar, I'm dreadfully sorry for all my mistakes as I do not yet have a beta reader for IZ. I'm no great shakes at grammar and it seems neither is the computer so I'm in a tad bit of a pickle. 

Oh well it will probably be a while before I write another IZ fic; thought don't get me wrong I do have a helluva lot of ideas its just that… well I have a lot of ideas for other things as well and I have multiple chapter fics that I must pay attention to, not to mention homework . Anyway I better shut up before this becomes as long as the story itself. Thank you for all those who have read this even if you didn't like it and don't review. 

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or any related characters they belong to the great Johnen Vasquez. The poem 'An Other Worldly Invitation' Belongs Blitzkrieg, ^-^ thank you Blitzkrieg  


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